ABout Half a year ago I found out my boyfriend made up his "brother"
he used to tell me he died in an accident, told me never to bring him up, dont talk to his mom about it because she is in such shock etc...but after doing some detective
work, I found out his brother never existed. I confronted him and first he told me i am sick for even thinking it but after two days passed and he couldnt find a death certificate - he was in shock.
He used to tell me lies before (cheating on me, etc) but he was aware of them but he says he believed himself 100% that he had a brother, I know when he lies and I am
unsure if he was aware of it or not because he hates to get caught lying and rather kills himself than tell the truth. In this case though I do believe that he believed his own lies.
Now he told me, many years ago he was in treatment because he would be lonely and bullied and he would sit at home and make up stories, weaving in people he used to know and making up characters for them and sometimes becoming his own characters in real life situations.
Does anyone know what this disorder might be?
He doesnt really want to talk to me but I personally believe these two
things seem to be connected.
He also used to be addicted to porn and sex.
He doesnt have any treatment for neither but says he has it under control
but I believe its a mental issue he cannot control.
he is quite charming, he dated most of his girlfriends online and would make up lies,
i remember when i would find out a lie he would blame it on stuff in his past for example he said he got raped, which made up excuses for himself because i thought "oh i am sorry he had to go through this" since i went through it myself, but all of these were lies aswell.
he is very charming, he knows what to say, and when i would want to break up with him, he would threaten me with suicide telling me "now i can tell you everything " but still lie about it.
his personal hygine is normal, he is my first boyfriend so i cannot really compare but he showers once day, sometimes twice, and does his fingernails etc
he is very scared of what other people think about him and wants to be liked
he worked hard in his life to get where he is now (and that part is true, i have proof for that)
Things to consider when addressing whether or not he believes his own lies. Did he keep you from seeking confirmation? Yes. Did he suddenly have a back-up excuse (making up stories as a child) when busted? Yes. Does he regularly keep major secrets and cheat heavily? Yes.
All of these things support habitual lying, which is, among other things, explainable by sociopathy.
Does he conveniently have similar life-defining moments as you? Yes. Is he willing to say anything to keep you with him? Yes. Addictive personality? Yes. Artificially charming? Yes.
These things support sociopathy on a more defining level.
Personally, I say he is a low functioning sociopath (LFS). The fact that he has had to overcome so much suggests he isn't high functioning (HFS), as they tend to be highly intelligent and effortlessly overcome obstacles. Confirmation that he struggled but overcame something could, however, be feigned, and the person(s) simply deceived into believing his "struggle" was more difficult than it was. Although, that seems unlikely considering his inability to determine he needed proof about something like a dead sibling (sooner or later that one is bound to come back and bite you).
Refusing to tell the truth at all costs, even when clearly proven to be a liar, then having a fall back (or more) for "why he lies" is really what tipped me off the most. The rest is just placing the pieces in the right order to get the big picture of his psych.
My father said he knew I was a bit off ever since he took me to see Jaws as a kid, and I rooted for the shark.