Once a comedian said...

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Once a comedian said...

hehehe
This bad comedian at an open mic once said
"Why are you a lesbian?"
"I'm bored."
"Since when did 'bored' become a sexuality?"

Im bored so I write creepy messages to people on okcupid.  This guy who scored "sociopath" on the personality test stopped talking to me.  YES.

I'm bored so I use craigslist to find random people whose names I don't know.  ONe time i double booked myself on the same night, saw the first guy who was mad fugly unlike his pics, hopped a cab when he wasn't looking, and banged the other dude.  YES.

I'm bored so I was a lesbian for a year and I realized that lesbians are <i don't feel like being racist against lesbians because I will get lynched/They are not worth talking about because I'm bored>'  Last time I went to the lesbian bar by myself I stood around and smoked a bunch of cigarettes, but I couldn't sit on the stoop I used to sit on because they put some metal spikes on it.  LAME

I was bored until I realized my breasts are producing milk as a side effect of medication.  So every night I lactate myself.  It's kinda cool.

These should all be separate threads but I am a needy motherfucker who wants to drive you away.  I like grannies with neckbraces.
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Re: Once a comedian said...

JumpyLamb
 So every night I lactate myself.

WHHAHAHAHAHAH cool.