I think I could be a sociopath

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I think I could be a sociopath

Flowed
I am a male in my late 20's who has largely bumbled through life without making any effort to know or be honest with myself.  This attitude has started to change over the past couple of years as I've entered adulthood.  During this transition I've made an honest effort to get to know the real me, and to not just rely on idealized interpretations of my motivations.  As would be expected, I have benefited from this, and am much more at ease with myself and the world.

Anyway, for the past week or so I have gotten it into my head that I may be a sociopath.  I have had this idea once before in my life, but it only lasted for less than an hour, and I convinced myself that it wasn't true because I really like animals (cats, in particular).  What little I had read about sociopaths gave me the impression that people with shallow emotions couldn't really have true affection for another creature.  

The reason that this idea has come back to mind is because an acquaintance whose intelligence and wisdom I hold in high regard, and who is privy to some of my more degenerate actions, let slip, in a moment of anger, that he believes me to be a sociopath.  No one has ever made this observation about me, or anything like it, before.  And to be honest.. it hit me like a tonne of bricks.  That alone is unusual, as I am rarely affected, on an emotional level, by observations or diagnoses be they from doctors or otherwise.

My reasons for agreeing (for the moment, anyway) with his observation (which he later backtracked on when in a better mood) are these:

My emotions are rather shallow, or flat.  I don't really get really excited, or truly miserable, although I do tend to worry a lot and am generally untrusting of other people's motivations.  Sometimes I've known myself to become angry very, very quickly, but it has almost always disipated almost as quickly, and I return to a level emotional state as if I had not been angry at all.  To me, this is normal, but when I consider my observations of other people, I have noticed that they seem to be affected by their bad moods for much longer periods of time than I ever could be.

I also don't feel as though I have much fear of violence, nor am I overcome with emotion during the times I have had to use it.  I'd like to note that I am not a violent person by any means.  In my private life I have only been in two very short-lived fist fights.  However, I had worked as a security guard in a mall that was frequented by the homeless and other 'undesirables' and during that time did have to get into a few scuffles and arrests as part of my job.  None of these events disturbed, enraged, or frightened me to any significant extent.  As well, I never held any sort of ill will toward the people who I got into it with, both in my private and professional lives.

I seem to have no problem being parasitic, as well.  For the past half decade or so, I have lived in a condo that my parents inherited, and have not paid them a cent in return.  Sadly, although it may be a good thing, this will be coming to an end soon, and I will have to start paying up.  Also, when I was in college, my parents gave me a credit card which I abused and ended up racking 10k in debt (for them) within a year.  As well, I have never had any qualms about taking money from them from time to time, and my only concern has been whether or not I would be caught.  Strangely, I have almost never been like this with friends.

Besides stealing from my parents, I was also (due to financial concerns) shoplifting and stealing from strangers.  It did not bother me in the least to shoplift from a big company, or to have gone through people's cars for money and items of value.  I don't really get any sort of significant emotional thrill from successfully shoplifting an item, if that is pertinent.  Sadly, I've had to cut off doing this in any major capacity after having been arrested for shoplifting twice, and charged once.  I made it through without it having to go to trial(due to a program that is in place where I live).  As well, during the times I have been under arrest it has not had any significant effect on my state of mind.  I feel this may not be related to sociopathy, but instead is because I've been involved in a number of arrests as the arresting party, and have become desensitized to the whole affair.

I don't really feel as though the faces I put on when socializing are anything more than contrived.  Although I am generally honest in what I say, it really seems obvious to me now that the emotions I try to display to others are completely contrived and only meant to get a desired reaction from their target.  Despite being forthright with friends and even strangers, lying comes naturally to me when I feel as though it is required, and I will construct any number of small lies or even stories to achieve a desired outcome, or avoid an unpleasant one.  I don't really think I have an innate understanding of how people feel, and I go off their reactions, or past experiences of theirs or others reactions to make my determination.  I think that means I have no empathy, but I'm not really sure.

I am very impulsive usually, and have a hard time keeping a budget and not blowing my money on useless, trifling things, or on my few, minor addictions (cigarettes, alcohol, marijuana).  If I have pot, cigarettes, or soda I will just keep using it all until it is gone.  I am a little bit better with alcohol, but if I have beer and nothing to do I will just drink as much as I can in one go.

That's all that comes to mind right now.  I've been reading through some of the threads on this forum for a couple of days now, and this seems to be the right place to present this information.  I am, of course, open to any honest observations that any of you may have, and am eager to answer any follow up questions you may have so that I can get to the bottom of this.  Thank you.
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Re: I think I could be a sociopath

Deceased
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Re: I think I could be a sociopath

Tom Hill-2
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Re: I think I could be a sociopath

preshas
In reply to this post by Flowed
Pray to Jesus and accept HIM as ur Lord an savor or ur life is over and u will take all who meet u with u straight into HELL. That is where u belong to unless u can except Jesus into ur heart. How many lives have u ruined so far? My ex was just like u an he is in PRISON where he belongs for eternty if u ask me!!!
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Re: I think I could be a sociopath

Flowed
In reply to this post by Tom Hill-2
I've been diagnosed by doctors with a general anxiety disorder and ADD inattentive.  Also, when I was 16, my parents set me up with a doctor for a battery to tests to see if I had a learning disability.  They came back positive, and as best I can remember, the diagnosis was something like "non-verbal learning disability".  My reactions to these weren't emotional at all.

When my friend first accused me of being a sociopath, I brushed it off.  But the more I ran it through my head, and counted off the various traits I remembered from reading about it, the more "Oh, fuck" came to mind.  The "tonne of bricks" didn't hit all at once, it felt more like they were dropped a sack at a time.  It was the ever sinking feeling that I may just be stuck with these shallow emotions for the rest of my life, and that I do not have the means to ever be able to lead an emotionally satisfying existence.  That lasted for a good two hours or so, which is unusual for me.
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Re: I think I could be a sociopath

Tom Hill-2
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Re: I think I could be a sociopath

Loki
In reply to this post by Flowed
Generally sociopaths don't experience much anxiety, and the ones that do tend to be fucking messes of people.
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Re: I think I could be a sociopath

Tom Hill-2
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Re: I think I could be a sociopath

preshas
In reply to this post by Loki
They are all messes of people an can only survive by messing WITH people. they are PARASITES. That is in the official definition so pls get ur facts right. This guy can only begin to heal thru the church. THAT is what it is there or an without it we would ALL still be savages!!
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Re: I think I could be a sociopath

Loki
What does a sociopath look like after being cured by the Church?
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Re: I think I could be a sociopath

Edvard
Loki I have a feeling preshas is a troll who has carefully studied what makes people the most annoyed here and in what precise combination, and now uses these talents for trolling.
Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
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Re: I think I could be a sociopath

Loki
In reply to this post by preshas
I remember how they used to cure heretics:








Who do you think runs the Church? Any hierarchical structure can be infiltrated and dominated by a clever sociopath, as has happened throughout history. Your appeals to your God only prove how weak and pathetic you are. Christianity is a slave religion used to keep people complacent while atrocities are perpetuated at its highest level of functioning.
Not that I'm hating, I think it's a very clever game.

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Re: I think I could be a sociopath

Postmodern Sociopath
In reply to this post by Loki


Too topical?~
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Re: I think I could be a sociopath

Loki
I read an interesting article where they basically called him a psychopath but didn't have the balls to go through with it.

Article wrote
Mitt Romney is an oddly different kind of politician. It seems that he has little personal or original to say and no new ideas. Worse, it is as if there were something fundamentally, even essentially, missing from his core. As many have noted, he is a blank slate, an automaton, someone who improvises glibly—saying what he thinks people want to hear—with little thought about his statements’ implications. The “Missing Mitt” seems without a significant sense of conscience or self-awareness, and is able to wipe the slate of his memory clean to present himself as he needs to be right now. From speech to speech, he has an amazing ability to start fresh, as if his past was an utterly irrelevant bump in the road. Almost universally, political observers (even in the Republican Party) have rightly noted that there is detached, inhuman quality about him, a palpable incompleteness that makes him a dangerously unpredictable actor on the world political stage.

By means of a proprietary psychological tool (The Nine Domains) we can get a systematic overview of the major features of his personality. This view will help us see which core human capacities are so undeveloped that a Romney Presidency would amount to "human on-the-job-training." Indeed, one fears that so much of Mitt Romney is undeveloped that it may be too late for him to learn to be fully human.

While many political commentators have noted some of the following points, what is new and revealing is seeing all of the “missing Mitt” areas together. To be missing one or two of them may not be a "deal breaker" with voters since no candidate is truly a fully-developed human being. But missing so many of the following significant personal qualities puts the viability of Mitt Romney’s Presidency into the most serious question.

1. Presidential leadership on the global stage requires honesty, integrity, being a person of one’s word, having an inspiring purpose and vision, deep personal values, and the ability to think logically. A strong sense of priorities, well-enunciated, is essential. Mitt Romney is weak in all of these qualities, as his generic, non-specific campaign stump speeches indicate.

2. Presidential leadership requires real empathy for people, for their suffering, their fears about health, and the future, for the safety and betterment of themselves and their children. Above all, Presidential leadership is about the ability to connect with the widest possible range of people and their ordinary concerns. And yet empathy for ordinary people is so clearly missing in Mitt Romney that it is shocking.
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Re: I think I could be a sociopath

preshas
In reply to this post by Edvard
A man strictly controlled by God will resemble a REAL man an not be having to MIMIC any more don u see?? That is the whole point. If u remove the socios will an replace it with the will of Jesus it is the ONLY way he can be free an fit to be in society. They used to have lobotomys but things like that are frowned on but I believe science will help the Church soon with this. Think of it!! Billions get spend on crime an prisons but heavy meds like psycotics an scizophrenics have to make there brain stop COULD be used to make a socio safe until he takes Jesus into his heart!
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Re: I think I could be a sociopath

Edvard
What a fucking joke. Maaan, you're too obvious with the trolling. Try having more original ideas in the future.
Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
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Re: I think I could be a sociopath

Tom Hill-2
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Re: I think I could be a sociopath

preshas
In reply to this post by Loki
Yes I know!! An those things made sure everyone knew the consequences in this life an the next an maybeur right it needs a socio to do those things an lead because a real person couldnt not do things like that. We still have DP in some states an someone has to pull the switch or inject an guess who? A socio who has given his will to GOD!!!
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Re: I think I could be a sociopath

Edvard
In reply to this post by Tom Hill-2
Boredom. I can think of nothing else.
Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
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Re: I think I could be a sociopath

Tom Hill-2
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