Familial Sexual Abuse

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Familial Sexual Abuse

Non Socio
I was just wondering how prevalent this is in socio families?

Are sociopaths likely to have been abused themselves when young, and how many sexually abuse their own siblings?

I am asking due to convo's I had with a suspected socio.  This person was very obsessed with talking about a long term sexual relationship with his sister.  He also liked to talk about fantastic sex with his aunty who he allegedly had sex with when he was about 14/15.  He would never ever discuss his father, yet also liked to tell stories he'd allegedly heard from ex girl friends of abuse by their own fathers.

Plus, since socios seem fine with rape, I guess there would be no differentiation between those they would rape, and where better to get the practice in than at home?
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Re: Familial Sexual Abuse

Oh, You Know
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It is very common.  Pedophilia and rape are common amongst socio/psychopaths and, as you said, what better place to get it than your own family?  My cousin is a psychopath and he has personally bragged to me about having sex with his sister (once) and many sexual exploits of her.

It was never her idea, and done through manipulation rather than through mutual attraction. So I believe that qualifies as sexual abuse.  Although some sociopath, including myself, might find it hard to make a proper assessment of this question as "sexual abuse" = wrong, and sociopath = deficiency processing right and wrong.

To look at it differently, as you said, we don't differentiate.  People are sheep/dogs/objects to us, that's it.  Family isn't even in our vocabulary, unless we want something from them.  With that said, ALL people develop their attraction based on what they were exposed to as a child.  Meaning everyone tends to want people they saw as attractive at an early age, which is primarily their family as that is who they are exposed to in their earliest years.  So if everyone is subconsciously attracted to their family, and sociopath use ANYONE indiscriminately, it is only a fair assumption that at least a large portion of sociopaths have, or at the very least could, commit familial sexual abuse.


P.S. I love dating girls that were sexually abused by their family.  Many of them were sexually abused by their brother (or their families equivalent male peer).  I always ask for as much details as I can possibly squeeze out of them, because it is terribly fascinating and arousing.  Mmm... just thinking about it.
My father said he knew I was a bit off ever since he took me to see Jaws as a kid, and I rooted for the shark.
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Re: Familial Sexual Abuse

Non Socio
Thanks for the info OYK.

Can you identify why you find familial relationship details more interesting?  Or is that akin to asking why some swallow and some dont?

I do believe that the socio who claimed to have sex with his sister did not class his actions as abuse, just normal family interaction.  It was telling to me though that it may not have been as consensual as he'd have himself believe (or wanted me to believe).  I came to that conclusion through other convo's we had that he did not seem to realise were related, ie his sisters behavioural problems, running away and shacking up with a boyfriend at age 15.  It all screamed to me that she probably wanted to be anywhere other than with him.  

Yet another socio I know did have some interaction with his sister, but that was as a result of a girlfriend dumping him and using the excuse he wasn't experienced, so he went home and brushed up his skills.  In other words she was just useful and available at the time.

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Re: Familial Sexual Abuse

Oh, You Know
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Well, I generally love hearing about anyone's sexual abuse (from both the victim and the perpetrator), because of the situation.  I like to imagine myself in the perpetrators position.  It's roughly the same thing as people who watch porn so they can imagine it's them.  Since traditional sex isn't particularly appealing to me, I instead seek out knowledge about rape/sexual assault victims to hear their stories and use that instead.  Legitimate stories are more appealing than watching scripted or arranged sex anyway, right?  Besides, this way I get to have twisted fantasies without actually raping or hurting anyone.  (Because I would never do that.)

Rape is generally common amongst socio because of the control involved.  As many sources clearly indicate, the socio's primary goal of socio-victim encounters is to create a completely willing victim.  Children are easy to manipulate, so that is probably why low functioning sociopaths target children even into adulthood.  Personally, I find pedophilia to be disgusting and unsporting.. a sentiment that seems to be shared amongst other confirmed HFS.  The ideal of rape is a turn on for me because it is a challenge; the challenge of completely controlling an unwilling victim, until they finally become willing or I get my fill.  Back to your question; those that commit familial sexual abuse are doing it because of two main factors; the pleasure received from controlling their victim, and convenience of having the victim forced to stay under their roof.


As for the psycho's sister, it probably wasn't consensual.  We are, by definition, very inwardly motivated.  I know from experience that I have no awareness (or perhaps I just don't care) whatsoever about the reactions of my victims and others that are around when I am doing something.  "Date rape," for example, would probably register to me as them playing hard to get and eventually giving in.  A case of this is me sexually touching my girlfriends in public when they only want me doing it in private.  I dated a virgin and, even in front of her friends and directly out of eye-sight of her family, I would routinely grab her breasts, grind up on her, etc.  She would tell me to stop, and sometimes it would upset her, but it never registered to me as a problem.  I just wanted to see if I could get her to let me so it was a game for me.

Actually, that is probably fractionally why all rape/sexual abuse happens with socios; we view everything as a game and winning is the only variable.  This would also make us more likely to target family when available, as they are more difficult to make willing (since norms are repelled by incest).

Back to the psycho's sister, it does appear that she is traumatized by his interactions.  I'm also sure he isn't trying to "convince" you it was willing sex, he honestly believes it was.  My cousin was the same way with his sister.  I already know he has raped girls, and he addressed it as dominating them, but that isn't how he addressed sex with his sister (despite me being very much aware that she is against incest).


Yes, that makes perfect sense.  If there is a practical gain (experience) and a convenient means (the sister), then that is the clear and practical solution.  I might've done the same thing in his place, if I were the type to act on such barbaric behavior.  Although I have always found the idea of having a sister to turn into a pet as a child to be a stimulating concept.  Imagine having sex and anything else you want readily available from the first time you get the inkling to see what the big deal about sex is.  If you can do that without focusing on the fact that your sex toy is your sister, I'm sure even you norms would find the concept appealing.


P.S. If you are confused why I make multiple varying explanations to why a socio would do the exact same thing, it's not from poor attention to what I'm saying.  The truth is, all we think about is what to do to benefit or stimulate us.  Every action we take tends to have a dozen reasons.  The poor impulse control is kind of our balance.  Everything we do is cool and calculated, except when we just react.  Impulses are generally accepted by socios because sometimes it's just nice to react without processing anything.  Do you know what it's like to have interactions with people while consciously controlling everything you say and do?  Imagine committing a serious crime and then being interrogated by the police about it.  Although, the situation I gave for you to understand actually wouldn't be relevant to us.  We are calm and collected when put on the spot, say, in the presence of law enforcement.
My father said he knew I was a bit off ever since he took me to see Jaws as a kid, and I rooted for the shark.
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Re: Familial Sexual Abuse

Non Socio
Thanks.

From my perspective his interactions with his sister were definitely about control.  He used to re visit the fact that he 'taught her to orgasm' frequently.  He now takes the view that (20yrs later) every time she has an orgasm she will always think of him first and foremost.  On another note, wouldn't it be the ultimate way of expressing your love for yourself, having sex with a mirror image of yourself?

When discussing another of his toys he was incensed that she ran from the house after he came in her mouth when she had explicitly stated she would not allow that.  He had no concept of her wishes, and I didn't try and convince him otherwise, I know it would be pointless as it wasn't important to him.

But I didn't try and convince him of anything, just found his stance 'interesting.'
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Re: Familial Sexual Abuse

Oh, You Know
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Actually that is a bit of a common misconception about sociopaths as a whole.  Many of us tend not to be that vein; note our collective hatred for narcs and psychopaths (both believing they are without fault).

We tend to be indifferent to everyone, including ourselves.  That is why low functioning socio tend to be completely unable to self-analyze.  Socio who suffer from narcissism, on the other hand, might find the mirror of them self concept to be appealing.

For the most part, we do what we do simply for self-preservation and self-satisfaction.  High functioning sociopaths are very much aware of being better than everyone else, but it isn't an inward reflection (vanity), but instead a simple awareness.  Most people are idiots, we are not; conclusion = we are better.


That said, my cousin is a psychopath. I can't stand him at all. Although if I were to make an educated guess based on his personality, I would be inclined to believe that his sister was appealing to him, in part, because he saw her as part of himself. He's also talked about wanting to have sex with his mother, although he had never made even the faintest attempt to do so. Since I don't understand how his mind works any better than a norm could understand a socio, I can't say for sure whether or not that hypothesis has any validity.  It is simply a suggestion and adding a bit of information that might help you with drawing your own conclusions.
My father said he knew I was a bit off ever since he took me to see Jaws as a kid, and I rooted for the shark.
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Re: Familial Sexual Abuse

Non Socio
The following statement you made OYK:

"Most people are idiots, we are not; conclusion = we are better."

From an NT point of view this is debateable.

Socios are better at some things due to being lacking in others.  Only other socios would consider socios 'better' but that same attitude can be seen right across all walks of life.

Take our family socio, he "knows" he is better, but most of us (who know him well) consider him deluded and have no wish to be like him, because ultimately he is lacking.  And from an NT point of view I dont consider him in much of a different light than the Narcissist I was once with...except that he is cleverer than the Narc.
 

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Re: Familial Sexual Abuse

Oh, You Know
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Non, I stated that we (high functioning sociopaths) are not idiots, and that is why we believe we are better.  HFS are known for being incredibly intelligent, more intelligent than most, which is indisputable. Sure, the areas we lack (empathy, long term commitment, etc) can be used to make non-socio assume they are on the same level as us, but they simply are not. It's not a matter of pride, it's a matter of observation.

Narcs, for example, believe they are better without any proof or logical reason to assume they are. Socio, at least the better half of us, draw our conclusions about everything from what we observe. For example, in my school years I was smarter than every student and (as far as I know) every staff member as well. This was not initially my conclusion, it was told to me by multiple teachers and students throughout my school years.


A higher intelligence always comes at a cost. For socio, that cost is connections to other people and a "win, then move on" mentality. Although sociopaths, much like the rest of society, consider intelligence more important than anything else; which we have in abundance.

I was only referring to HFS, not sociopaths in general. LFS are no better than narcs imo. And I was only saying better in the sense of intelligence (hence referring to the rest as idiots; a reference to their intelligence). I hope this makes my statement more clear.
My father said he knew I was a bit off ever since he took me to see Jaws as a kid, and I rooted for the shark.
Kao
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Re: Familial Sexual Abuse

Kao
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Re: Familial Sexual Abuse

Non Socio
I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to tell much difference between a lfs and a narc, probably wouldn't bother analysing it.  Family socio IS high functioning, but still I dont view him in a much better light.  Yes, he is intelligent, but still he holds no interest for me, I cant admire him for 'being intelligent' any more than I could admire the skill of an autistic savant.

It was quite fun to watch him manipulate the narc.  And of course, any suspected narcs/lfs do get introduced to him, then the threat of the socio can always be dangled in front of the narc/lfs.  Those of us in the know are aware that the socio wouldn't get involved to help anyone out (unless he stood to gain/wanted something from the person he was destroying the narc for) but the narc didn't really get that.

Kao
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Re: Familial Sexual Abuse

Kao
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Re: Familial Sexual Abuse

Oh, You Know
This post was updated on .
In reply to this post by Non Socio
@Non Socio  I have been used as a means of intimidating people before as well. Although, the girl that used me as a means to threaten people was able to validate those threats at will. She was my prize and willing slave. I would, and did, attack on command for her. I also attacked anyone that tried to get close to her, including her family. The general justification for these attacks was "MINE!"  Her being borderline, and as such terribly possessive as well, we frequently said "mine" to each other just to hear the other one confirm it. I was her willing slave and she was mine. A match made in heaven to be sure, until she realized she was terrified of me and tried to escape.

@Kao Narcs are pathetic creatures to be sure. They are no better than the sheep they shepherd.
My father said he knew I was a bit off ever since he took me to see Jaws as a kid, and I rooted for the shark.
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Re: Familial Sexual Abuse

Non Socio
I've noticed that my narc is still sheperding the same old sheep he was before.  He goes through phases of finding new targets but they don't last long, and essentially he has the same core group of victims he always had, weak and pathetic bunch they are!  Damn, I tried so hard to make him into a better narc.

OYK, I can relate to your ex being able to use you, and essentially I probably could have with the family socio IF I had wanted to allow him to manipulate me in exchange.  What I did find out was that the socio DID appear to stay engaged with the narc even when I deemed him a risk to me.  Knowing the socio as I do, with hindsight I think there would be an element of truth in thinking the socio would take the stance that no one else had the right to interfere with his family unless it was HIS choosing.  It would have been much more convenient to the socio to know where he was living etc in the event he wanted to injure him.

I'm still able to inflict narcissistic injury on the narc occasionally, and I fear no comeback.

All off topic though...

Once a socio seems to have had familial sex it seems they obsess about this kind of sex more than any other, is it because they relate this to their first experience of manipulation and control, and if so, would that be true of the violent incidents as well, would they associate the rush with the first violent act they deemed successful?
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Re: Familial Sexual Abuse

Oh, You Know
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Regarding the on topic question, I can't say for sure. I find hearing about my victims familial sexual abuse stimulating simply because it is rape. I equally enjoy hearing about all their sexual abuse/rape stories, but most rape victims were first exposed to it as a child, by their family.

That said, it is probably preference more than first experience. I don't have a sister but the concept of having a sister to make into a willing slave is perhaps one of my greatest fantasies.  Which is why I tend to seek the most details when that was the case for my victims.  As I previously stated, having a peer living under your roof as a victim is very appealing to me.  Not at all because they are family, but because they would be unable to escape.

I believe the inability to escape is why many socio sexually abuse their children.  Although I personally find pedophilia sickening and pedophiles are among the very limited group of people that I would very much enjoy torturing in the most excruciating ways imaginable until they died. (I did mention I am a peaceful person, didn't I?)
My father said he knew I was a bit off ever since he took me to see Jaws as a kid, and I rooted for the shark.
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Re: Familial Sexual Abuse

Non Socio
Yeah, I was probably over analysing this.  From an NT point of view it is just so weird, and I can't say anyone else has ever brought up the topic with me, other than from the victim view point.